New Year, New Goals, New Lessons

It is truly amazing that you haven't given up on me and my ramblings yet.  Life has been throwing me many balls, some straight up, some curves, but at times too many to juggle on my own.  The thing that God has been pressing upon my stubborn, hard-headed self it that He is the one in control, not me.  I can plan and think that is how it is all going to work out for the day, week, or year and put the balls into play.  However, He has the final say in what really happens.  The changes and "interruptions" that really threw me for a loop when we first brought A1 and A2 home don't seem to throw me quite so much anymore.  The exception to that is the day or week that I forget that I'm not in control.  So after realizing that I've been learning just as much as my children since we've brought them home, just not the same lessons in history, English and math, as well as having the last two to three books studied for Sunday School be on contentment and God being in control with a few bricks falling on my head and 2x4's knocking me down; I might have finally learned this lesson.

In January, while Andy and A1 were in Puerto Rico working the winter nursery, I was able to get to my office. It had been buried for over a year with things that I couldn't seem to get to, things I planned daily to get to but didn't.  There actually was one basket that had a bunch of books that I needed to get listed to sell that had really sat there for a whole year.  The bills were being paid on time, the papers graded almost on time, just the "extra" office work was being put on the back burner.  I can now see the floor, run the little heater on my feet and have a "plan"-I use this word fairly loosely-in place for staying on top of things.

It has taken a long, long while for me to get there, but I think I've reached the bottom-no pun intended and I can only turn up. After talking this over with God, I felt compelled to let my family know that I needed them and their help. So Sunday's are blocked off.  No more working for me; I'll still cook and help with dishes, but nothing major.  I get to do fun things like relax, read for fun, take a nap, take a walk, watch a movie, play a game, and blog.  We'll see how it goes after the big admission that I can't do it all-if I get the help.  To their credit, usually if I asked for something to be done it will get done.  I just want them to look around now and see it for themselves so I don't have to continue to keep track of it in my head along with house budgets, Andy's business accounts, my Zija business accounts, things for school to do/check/prep for, who needs to be where/when, what papers need to get turned into college at what time, what we are having for breakfast/lunch/supper, where their things are at that they can't find.  I know this has to sound familiar-the long list running in your head. This time I've not put a specific time of day on jobs that I'm responsible for, except for teaching classes with the kids, I've just made a check list of what I need to accomplish for the day and what I want to accomplish for the day and what I hope to accomplish for the day to keep our house running smoothly.  When I let my family know that I needed their help, I had let them know where this list would be so they could see what I might need help with if they would happen to get done early with school or home early from work, and wonder why I don't have time in the evenings to sit with them and watch movies on Netflix or play another game of Catan.   

I'm getting excited for the new things that are coming down my path as I transition this year.  A1 graduates in June and will leave for college in the fall.  A2 is driving with his permit and in two years-that will go too fast-be graduating and leaving for college as well.  Wee One-my girlfriend's 1 year old daughter, that I watch 3 days a week, will fill part of that transition.  My new business with Zija, as a distributor, is another part of moving down this path.  My daily reminder that I'm not in control happens before I even put my feet to the floor is "Lord, you know what I have scheduled for the day, but I know that may not match up with your plans.  Help me remember that you are in control and that you have my best interest at heart."  Usually, this keeps the stress levels down as I try to only pick up and juggle the balls that He gives me for the day.  There are still some curves, but when I remember to start my day with just that little "Good Morning!" my glove is on and I can catch it and make the play; with His help, guidance and with those He has placed around me.